When the Boss Says Yes And Means No

Today’s guest post is by Patti Blackstaffe, President of Strategic Sense Inc. You can subscribe to her blog here and learn about her first in a series of leadership guidebooks LeadershipXXL here. Here’s Patti:

Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
- Madeleine L'Engle

As a leader, setting expectation isn’t always easy, sometimes it can be a balance between wanting to seem fair or likable and trying to get your team to meet your personal expectations.

The Conflict

In our Canadian winters, a blizzard will build as the north wind collides with pacific winds coming off the Rocky Mountains and the blizzard can last for days at temperatures well below freezing. On days like this, getting in a car can mean your life. It was during just such a blizzard, a young woman needed to determine if traveling to work would be a good idea or not. With road reports unfavourable, 8-12 hour wait-times for tow trucks, recommendations not to drive from family, co-workers and friends had her leaning toward staying at home.

The fact that decision makers from her work had sent an email the night before stating; ‘...our out of town staff are not expected to travel along the out of town routes deemed unsafe...’ supported staying at home. Under the circumstances and when weighing the risks she finally came to the conclusion staying at home was the best decision she could make.

Flash forward to the next day when this employee finds out several of the folks who chose to stay at home were called in and a staff meeting occurred where the boss shouted at the staff, berated them for their lack of professionalism and made accusations of relaxing at the expense of the organization.

The Main Problem

This is a classic case of confused expectation. This leader or boss indicated one expectation but meant something completely different. Organizations are ill-advised to “request” their staff risk safety precautions, thus the supportive email. The trick here was for this woman to decipher if it was the real expectation or not. It’s like being offered a cookie, but what they really want is for you to choose a carrot.

The Results

When employees run up against these conflicting expectations, as in this case, the reactions will be varied and the boss will have risked the employee relationships in several ways.

• Fairness: An employee may decide to seek work elsewhere looking for an organization where the boss is fair in their communication of expectations.
• Defence: One or two may speak to the boss on behalf of the rights of their fellow employees.
• Trust: If the boss does not recognize they are sending conflicting messages, the employees will no longer trust what the boss tells them, assuming instead that worst-case-scenario is the best choice.
• Anger: Employees will be angry, long after the boss is finished with the issue and it will affect every communication to follow.

The Communication

In the leadership community we talk a lot about consistency of communication. The above case is one of the best examples where there was no consistent message and everyone lost, especially the leader.

Setting expectations is all about communication, here are five ways to create a different scenario than the one above.

1. Be realistic. Always lean on the side of safety; just because no one died on their way to work doesn’t mean the roads were safe.
2. Be accurate. If you are leaving a decision up to the employees, then accept their decision this time and lay clear expectations next time.
3. Be honest. Allowing someone to think it is okay to make one choice when clearly you favour a different choice is dishonest.
4. Be consistent. Sending mixed messages confuses your employees, it is unfair and will only alienate them.
5. Avoid angry outbursts. Your own failure to communicate effectively is not reason to berate or upset your employees, if you are angry, address the issue when you are calm and can state the facts appropriately.

Being realistic, accurate, honest, consistent and calm are a few key leadership traits that contribute to building strong employee/leader relationships as well as contributing to effective communication.

Patti Blackstaffe at Strategic Sense Inc works with companies in building Happy Workplaces because she knows Happy Workplaces succeed. She writes a blog called Making Strategic Sense based on common sense values and the art of understanding people.